Matt Haig :The comfort book
It’s okay to be the cup with the chip in it. That’s the one with a story.
…
It’s okay to be who you are.
It’s okay
I have never been a fan of the whole “Happy New Year” deluge of comments in January. There are those wonderful people who are genuinely sincere and really wish you well but there are also those that just say it …. but this year I actually believe that it will be. I’m not having goals or new year resolutions but I do have things that I intend looking forward to.
If you watch the news it’s a gloomy start to the year with many work groups feeling like they have no option but to strike and withdraw their work. Of those ,the most personal is that of teachers striking. So many teachers have now opened up about the impact of being a teacher on their general health but mainly mental health. There will always be the uninformed that shout about working 9-3 and the number of paid holidays but the amount of teachers laying bare what it is really like is tough to hear… Those misinformed members of our community add to the negativity that surrounds this job. Most wouldn’t manage a single day in the classroom. I just hope that people hear what teachers have to say. It's not just about pay its about working conditions and unrealistic expectations. It’s a job I felt I could no longer do . It impacted my mental and physical health too much and after years of trying to continue and support to help me, there was a point at which I couldn’t mentally or physically do it anymore.
I saw a teacher on TikTok this morning trying to get herself to her job after a sleepless night. The woman was in tears. One of the comments on her post mentioned “Toxic Positivity” This resonated so much for me. I remember clearly reading a comment by author Matt Haig in that “there is nothing more negative than toxic positivity.” I’m sure I saw this on Instagram a number of years ago from him. I probably have a screen shot somewhere.
He does say in one tweet
“The Comfort Book was written as a response to toxic positivity. The idea you have to suppress your inner turmoil and slap on a smile and things will be fine. To survive we need to be vast enough to accept all our states of mind. We are not designed for permanent contentment.”
When we are being told to be positive it invalidates how we are really are feeling. To be forced/coerced into positivity has quite the opposite effect for many people. I used to sit listening to others spouting their contrived positivity when all I needed to do and be pleased with was getting through a day and having energy to be with my family. My true positives would seem belittled compared to others. I did laugh at one which was “my husband and I had a wonderful weekend in Venice” mine for comparison may have been I had breakfast before work one morning this week. It was my most hated moment of the week. The reasons against doing it were not listened to. I don’t want to be forced to be positive … I want to find that for myself and for my positives to be genuine not forced but to know its ok to have times when I don’t feel so positive.
This is one very very very BIG reason why I am so grateful to be able to do what I do. You will never truly understand how important your likes and comments are on my art posts. Thank you , thank you, thank you . These give me my true positives and rebuilt some confidence. Sometimes they are comments from people that I know well and sometimes from people that I have never met before or come across before. I had so many lovely comments about my Cambridge paintings after they were shared on the Cambridge Diary FB page. Those paintings make me smile. It’s also a place I absolutely love to visit.
I am already signed up for my first Bucks Art Weeks thanks to a wonderful artist couple in Stony Stratford who are opening their home for 10 days and thanks also to Skills Art for introducing me to them. My inner voice and critic is still rather in disbelief about accepting the compliments I have had with my art but I’m trying to change that. My wonderful group of fellow artist CRPS warriors are growing with our art. There are no expectations, no false positivity we share how we are , we support and grow together. There is also the Spring Exhibition with the Association of Animal Artists and the Thursday afternoon socials. I shall continue being a part of the Stony Stratford Art Society and meeting more like minded people. This year has lots to look forward to. I have properly moved on from the place that I worked at. It is sad, as I had been there 29 years! (yes really !) I had one really lovely person contact me as they had not seen a leaving card. That single message was worth more than a leaving card. It was heartfelt and honest. They have also now left and I can’t wait to see just what wonderful things they will also go on to do.
I am delighted with some new cards that have my art work on, I have those and some other items (original art works and notebooks) now on the website. I will be taking my cards along to my Friday choir group as well as other events. Please take a look. This artist would be forever grateful for any kindness just by you taking a look. I am so thankful for every comment on my work. It still feels so strange doing something so different and honestly you make such a difference to how I feel.
So …how did I start my year? After spending far too many years wanting a nose stud and listening to those that wouldn’t like it!... I went with a good friend and now we have a lovely little bit of sparkle . Now I’m a chipped cup with added sparkle !
Matt Haig :The comfort book
It’s okay to be the cup with the chip in it. That’s the one with a story.
It’s okay to be who you are.
It’s okay
Now...See those words in bold? read those together...
I intend looking forward to
-my positives to be genuine not forced but to know its ok to have times when I don’t feel so positive
-my first Bucks Art Weeks
-accepting the compliments
-CRPS warriors ... growing with our art
-Spring Exhibition with the Association of Animal Artists and the Thursday afternoon socials
-being a part of the Stony Stratford Art Society and meeting more like minded people
-new cards
-taking my cards along to my Friday choir group as well as other events
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